Talk - Unconditional Love - February 2014

During the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught the people the following:

Matthew 6: 28-31

        

28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: 

29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 

30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith ? 

31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 

When Jesus was sending his disciples out to teach he told them this:

Matthew 10: 28-31

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.

 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

 31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

Heavenly Father knows us, every detail, even the ones WE don’t know about.  He knows our worth. He values us.  He knows our struggles.

Even a tiny one celled creature is more complex than most of us realize.  Hannah I watched a video for science that talked about the complexity of the flagellum on a single celled creature.  Those little whip-like tails that move the tiny cell around are powered by a tiny motor that works just like an outboard motor!  The tiny parts of the motor are created from proteins that assemble in exactly the right order.  That’s just the cellular level, it gets even more complex at the molecular, atomic, and quantum levels.  But our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know all of these tiny bits that make up our bodies.  They did the organizing!  I can’t even keep my house organized and clean…

I’ve been listening to Christian music on the radio while driving my minivan for the past two and a half years.  I have found it amazing at what having those positive messages whirling around in my subconscious can do in my life.  (Just imagine if I were better at reading the Scriptures!!).  I have found myself reliving past hurts and disappointments or having negative conversations in my brain (anyone else do that?), only to realize that the next level deeper is the refrain to a song… He is faithful, He is faithful. 

I woke up the other morning with the following chorus from the song “I AM” by David Crowder running through my mind.

There’s no space that his love can’t reach

There’s no place where we can’t find peace

There’s no end to amazing grace.

Take me in with Your arms spread wide

Take me in like an orphan child

Never let go

Never leave my side

I am

Holding on to you

I am

Holding on to you

In the middle of the storm

I am holding on

I am

Now you can take this song two ways.  You can think I am holding on to HIM.  Or He is holding on to me. Think of that.  The Great I AM is holding on to YOU…

I am continually amazed by how much Heavenly Father cares about our seemingly insignificant lives, how he answers prayers for things that we sometimes wonder if they are too inconsequential to even ask for.  But if we don’t ask, we might not realize just how great our God is!

Last summer, my husband heard about a department head job at Pittsburg State University…  That’s in Pittsburg… Kansas.  I’d never heard of it.  My parents are FROM KS, and they’d never heard of Pittsburg.  But on the other hand, I’d never heard of Evansville before we moved here either…  So, Pete heard about this opening, and I was already convinced he’d get the job.  Before he had even applied to the school, they contacted him saying they thought he was a good fit (Pete’s mentor from his PhD student days had made a phone call and recommended him) and would he like to interview…  I wasn’t the least bit surprised when they offered him the job after a phone interview and a campus visit (he had to demo his teaching and research). 

So, I had 10 months to get us ready to move…  I’m not sure if that is better or worse than short notice.  The stress lasts a LOT longer.

I started researching what I could, and found that Pittsburg did indeed have a ward, not just a branch.  I’m on a FB group for LDS homeschoolers and one day someone asked if anyone else in the group was in KS.  I responded, ‘we are moving to Pittsburg, KS in June… not that anyone lives there.’  I got a super excited response saying ‘we just moved from Pittsburg to KC, and we loved it there.  Great ward.  We are meeting the Pittsburg youth at the KC temple tomorrow, and I’ll let them know about you.’

umm, wow.  I started praying for friends in Pittsburg.  We would be leaving so many wonderful friends here, we would have to have good friends there as well. 

In December, we planned a side trip to Pittsburg on the way to OKC  to see my parents for Christmas.  I wanted to spend one night and go to church on Sunday to see what it was like.  About a week before our planned arrival, my husband got a phone call, on his cell phone mind you, from a church member in Pittsburg asking us to stay with them.  Pete had him call me and work out the details and left it up to me whether or not we spent the night with strangers…  Honestly, we can only guess how all that happened.  The homeschool mom refused to ask for our phone number because it was ‘too creepy’…  Our church is very connected, and the persistent find a way J

The members we stayed with were amazing.  They invited the Bishop and his wife over to meet us on Saturday night, and they were really nice.  The church was initially disappointing to me.  So small.  It was the Sunday before Christmas and the weather was awful… so there were fewer people than normal.  My 3 kids were ¾ of the primary, the Bishop’s son was the 4^th.

I started thinking we could live 20 minutes away in a town just north of Joplin, MO.  We would go to church in Joplin then… that sounded better to me, and the houses in that area are NICE and super inexpensive.  Very temping.  However, I really felt we were supposed to live in Pittsburg.

Fast forward to early Feb.  Pete had been invited to some meetings, so we planned another trip to Pittsburg.  We’d see the town, look at some houses, maybe look around Joplin, etc.  We stayed with the same older couple the first night, and they invited a family over to meet us, a family with a professor dad, Primary pres mom, and 5 kids (ages 9 to almost 2).  Friends! 

Church on Sunday was better (still no girls Hannah’s age), and the family we’d met invited us over for dinner the following day.  They ended up with a snow day, so we came over to play in the afternoon as well. 

Looks like God wants us in Pittsburg.

His love for us is so great.  He has plans for us.  We just have to follow him.  Every once in a while I have to sing the Primary song, “I will go, I will do, the things the Lord commands…”

The ultimate act of unconditional love was made through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  There is no sin that is too big.  Nothing is too big for God.  Through the Atonement God can use our sinful selves to do Great works for Him.  He wants us, He pursues us.  Think of some of the “Great Heroes” of the Old Testament.

Noah – we know he got drunk at least once

Abraham – grew up as an idol worshipper, a liar (how many times did he lie about being Sarah’s brother?)

Isaac – major family issues

Jacob – thief, liar, usurper (Jacob even MEANS usurper)

Joseph – I don’t know this for sure, but I get the feeling Joseph was an insufferable, spoiled brat

Moses – murderer

David – adulterer & murderer

Jonah – disobedient prophet

Solomon – sex addict

I think (hope!) most of us are doing a better job than these guys, and think of how God was able to use them.  Do his work through them, when they obeyed…

When I was pondering what I could talk about for this talk, the parable of the Prodigal Son came to mind.  I wanted to find a modern take on it, but found this article from Christianity Today.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2012/february/prodigal-son.html

***

Disclaimer: one month after giving this talk, my marriage ended, and the kids and I didn't move.  However, I know that God has something better planned for us.

Talk - Charity Never Faileth - October 2011

Charity never faileth is the beginning of 1 Cor 13:8.  Leading up to that statement is a description of what charity is.  Charity is another word for the Love of Jesus Christ.  So, love never fails or ends.  Really what we are saying is The Love of Jesus Christ is Eternal. 

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things

When I started to think about this talk the first thing that came to mind was how we treat our children.  Of course we all love our children with all of our hearts, but do we always show that to them?  I know I don’t.  I get frustrated and yell.  Sometimes I yell when it’s not even the kids I’m frustrated with. 

I was reminded of a story that I read on a homeschooling blog written by a dad who was a preacher and wanted to shelter his children from the world as much as possible.

“When my oldest son was almost 16 we let him get his first job washing dishes at a restaurant managed by a Christian friend of ours. As diehard shelterers we wrestled with whether or not our son was ready to enter the world's workforce. We knew we couldn't shelter him forever, and so finally concluded that he should be old enough to send into the world two nights a week. What we didn't realize was that he would be working with drug-using, tattooed, partiers, and our Christian friend was never scheduled to work our son's shift.

Within a month it became apparent that our son's new work associates were having an effect on him. He came home one evening and asked, "Dad, can I dye my hair blue?" After my wife was finally able to peal me off the ceiling, I laid into him, reminding him whose son he was, and that I would not have people at church telling their children not to be like the pastor's son. I explained that just because he wanted to use washable dye, it didn't make me any happier. (Note that my intense reaction had to do with "outward appearances" and the impact on me.)

Of course, my wife and I immediately began to evaluate whether we had made a mistake by letting him take the job. After an intense discussion we decided to coach him more carefully and let him keep his job.

Two months later he came home from work and asked me if he could pierce his ear. Again, my wife had to peal me off the ceiling. He thought it might be okay since he wanted a cross earring -- like I was supposed to be happy, because it would be a "sanctified" piercing. If that wasn't enough, he also wanted to get a tattoo! But it was going to be okay, because it would be a Christian tattoo!

As I was looking back on this experience several years later, something my son said shortly after he started his job kept coming back to me. When I picked him up the second night of work, he got in the car with a big smile on his face and said "They like me!" As I dwelt on that comment, it suddenly came clear to me - my son had finally met someone who liked him for who he was. Few others in his entire life had shown him much acceptance, especially not his mother and I. It is no exaggeration - in our efforts to shape and improve him, all we did was find fault with everything he did. We loved him dearly, but he constantly heard from us that what he did (who he was) wasn't good enough. He craved our approval, but we couldn't be pleased. Years later, I realized he had given up trying to please us when he was 14, and from then on he was just patronizing us.

The reason our son wanted to adorn himself like his work associates, was because they accepted him for who he was. He wanted to fit in with those who made him feel significant. He wanted to be like those who gave him a sense of identity. The problem wasn't one that could be solved by extended sheltering - he could have been sheltered until he was 30 and he still would have been vulnerable. The problem was that we had sent our son into the world insecure in who he was. He went into the world with a hole in his heart that God had wanted to fill through his parents.

Whether believer or unbeliever, those young people who are least tempted to follow the crowd are those who are secure in themselves and don't need the approval of others.”

We need to make sure that we let our kids know about all the good things they are doing.  I was reading a book where the parent of a drug addicted young adult decided to focus only on his positive traits.  She said at first she could only think of one thing…  Her son came home late at night obviously under the influence of something.  She looked at him, and said, “Good breathing son”.  Surely our kids are doing more than just breathing well! 

Small children, under the age of 3 or 4 don’t even understand the negatives in a sentence.  While they may understand “NO!” they generally don’t understand when you say “don’t run” or “don’t jump on the couch”.  They truly do not process the word “don’t”, and that’s why they may grin at you and do exactly what you told them not to.  They heard “run” instead of “don’t run” or “jump on the couch” instead of “don’t jump on the couch”.  They thought you were just being a really fun mom.  Imagine their surprise when they are then further reprimanded.  We need to tell our toddlers and preschoolers what we DO expect them to do “Please walk” or “Please sit on the couch”, then when they do those things we need to let them know what a great job they are doing.  I think for people who got into this habit with small children it is easier to keep it up with the older kids.  “I just love the way you sit so quietly during Sacrament Meeting.”  Or “Thank you for helping with you little sister, you did a wonderful job”

I know my mom was very difficult to please when I was a kid.  She had lots of rules about the way things had to be done like folding towels.  Did you know that towels have a right side and a wrong side?  Well, they do, according to my mother.  First, you must find the tag and fold it to the inside, and the first fold must be the long direction, then you fold it in half the short way, then fold it in half again the short way.  I was just too short to fold a towel the long way first…  However, every time I folded the towels wrong, my mother would heave a heavy sigh, unfold all the towels and say, “I’ll just do it myself”.

Of course, I too, am critical, and being critical is NOT showing the love of Jesus Christ.  I have learned a valuable lesson about keeping my critiques to myself.  I’m sure that many of you have heard that people have different Love Languages.  I give things to people, but my husband does acts of service to show love.  That’s great because I hate housework!  When he’s feeling particularly loving, he’ll clear the dinner table and load the dishwasher.  Now, I fully enjoy having the dishes washed without my having to do it, BUT I often feel that I could do a better job.  I know just how to load the dishwasher so it is at maximum capacity.  I can almost always get all the dishes in, and if not it’s usually just one big pot or pan that is no big deal to wash by hand.  Sometimes Pete will put 3 big pots and pans in the dishwasher along with some silverware and call it good, leaving 20 plastic cups and bowls in the sink…  A few times I decided to share my organizational knowledge with him and tell him how he could do a better job.  He walked away!  And he didn’t offer to do the dishes again for weeks!  Now I keep my mouth shut and just run a second load of dishes later…

If “Charity Never Faileth” is really going to be a motto in our lives we have to focus on seeing the good in people, especially in our own family. 

President Thomas S. Monson said, “Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.”

A few years ago there was a knock on our door in the evening.  When I peered through the peephole, I didn’t recognize the person but I decided to answer the door anyway.  On our porch stood a very disheveled man.  He asked if this was the policeman’s house.  I said, “no, he lives next door, but can I help you?”  This man was mentally challenged, and he’d gotten lost while taking a walk.  He knew it would soon be dark and he wanted to get home.  I asked if he knew his address and he provided one that didn’t sound too far away.  So, I asked Pete to drive him home.  Well, the address he gave wasn’t right…  He told Pete he lived close to the mall, so Pete headed toward Eastland Mall, but the man didn’t recognize anything and he was starting to get scared.  Then they tried Washington Square Mall (which is a lot closer to our house), and eventually found his apartment complex.  Turns out if he’d gone half a block further west and turned south instead of north, he would have been home.  Pete and I felt so good to have helped this helpless man whose name turns out to be Jimmy Carter.  What if he’d knocked on another door and been refused or hurt?  God definitely led him to the right place!  I’m not sure even our policeman next-door neighbor would have been as accommodating and patient as Pete was.

So, to sum up:  show the Love of Jesus Christ to you family and don’t be critical, make sure your children know all the good things about themselves, and be a good example for others.  If you see someone who needs help DO something.

Elijah's Baptism June 2013

Nauvoo, May 2010

During the seven hour drive to Nauvoo, the temperature dropped 20 degrees and we were woefully unprepared for the cool weather.  Our first stop was at a gift shop where I bought the four of us hoodies.  The smallest size swallowed the kids, but I got them anyway.  That's why on a Sunday morning we are wearing sweat shirts over our church clothes at the temple...
Five years later, I still wear my beloved Nauvoo sweatshirt all the time.  Hannah outgrew hers, and handed it down to Leah, who loves to be my twin.

Updates

I didn't realize it had been SO LONG since I blogged on this blog...

Back in October my beautiful Hannah turned eight and was baptized! Possibly even more exciting was the fact that my husband Pete came to see it. Even Hannah's Jewish grandparents came for the big event!







When we visited OKC at Christmas time, I had the chance to visit the Temple there. It was my first time by myself... which wasn't quite as scary as I thought it might be. I just told the nice lady in the dressing room and she made sure I had an escort. Easy Peasy!





The nearest temple to where I live is about 2 hours away which means that going is an all day event. One day I hope to be able to attend regularly!

Nauvoo Temple

Michael Stanfill took these gorgeous pictures of the temple during our trip! I can't wait to see the rest of them (hint, hint!!)



Monday, May 10, 2010
This weekend was a hugely exciting one. I took the kids to Nauvoo and received my endowment! The Temple was amazing and Nauvoo was so neat. The kids did not want to leave!

On Friday (5/7/10) we drove with Kadarah and Annie to Nauvoo. It took seven hours to get there... The temperature dropped 20 degrees during that time and Nauvoo was quite chilly! I had packed for hot, humid weather and the kids were FREEZING. Our first stop was at our hotel, Nauvoo Villas and Condos, to check in and drop off our stuff. Then we went shopping for sweatshirts. Our first stop was Allyn House which was really cool, but no kid seatshirts... We did get Hannah and Leah pink bonnets there, along with some jacks, a temple magnet, recommend holder, and 3 squished pennies. Next stop was Latter Day Harvest where they DID have the cutest "Old Nauvoo" sweatshirts that became the kids' uniform for the weekend. I also bought a Simon Dewey print "As I Have Loved You" and a rubber band gun for Elijah. I saw the Simon Dewey print that I *really* want in a HUGE frame... too bad it cost about $600! Then we drove by the Temple and I jumped out and snapped a picture on my phone to post on Facebook :) By that time it was 4:30pm and we only had 30 minutes before the demonstrations closed. We went to the Scovil bakery and got our gingerbread cookies (yum). I got a text from Vanessa saying they wouldn't be getting into town in time for dinner, so we decided to eat and go 'home'. We ate a pretty expensive buffet at the Nauvoo Diner (Grandpa John's, I believe)... fried shrimp, which was good, and the kids ate most of mine!




The next morning (5/8/10) Vanessa and I had to be at the Temple at 9:30am to prepare for the 11:00 endowment session. Kadarah came along to do some initiatories before the endowment session. We met Vanessa and Michael at the Temple Arrival Center and exchanged Vanessa for my three kiddos. Michael and Annie took Hannah, Elijah, Leah, Jed and Zoe to all the cool demonstrations. Apparently, they got a lot of puzzled looks as people tried to figure out the ages of those five kids ages 7 and under :) Annie wondered how she, at not quite 21, could possibly have that many kids!




Inside the Temple, the Brother in charge of getting my records in order forgot that endowments use the maiden name, so he couldn't find my records... that took a few extra minutes! Kadarah took my cards of ancestors who needed initiatories done for them. Then she and Vanessa each took one to do the endowment for them. What wonderful friends!!

I was quite overwhelmed with the endowment session. Too much to learn at one time for sure! It's a good thing they walk you through every step :) If I go alone next time, I'm sure to get an "I don't know what I'm doing" sticker for sure, lol. I know it will get better each time.

After the Temple, the kids were a cranky, hungry mess! Hannah had scraped her knee on her boot (brace for her hurt foot) and was very sad. We had a yummy sandwich lunch at Nauvoo Mill and Bakery and everyone felt much better :)

We dropped Kadarah at the Land and Record building, then we managed to get on an unadvertised wagon ride! Even wrapped in quilts it was a pretty cold ride, but it was worth it. Leah fell asleep on me for the entire hour ride!

The kids had missed the barrel making exhibit at The Family Living Center so we went to that and then got to hear about candle making before it closed. Everyone we met commented on Hannah's cute bonnet!

We had a light dinner at McKee's (??) , then it was time to head to "Rendezvous at Old Nauvoo". It was very entertaining to see so many of the missionaries performing!

Sunday morning we went to the 8am missionary Sacrament Meeting and we saw several of the performers from the previous nights show passing the Sacrament. That was neat! There were something like 346 missionaries in Nauvoo!! The place was packed... We sat in the 2nd overflow!

After church we headed back to the Temple and Michael took pictures. The kids all touched the Temple, and Hannah can't wait to be old enough to do baptisms there!

We went back to the condo for an early lunch and to pack up the car. We headed home at 11am. Amazingly, Michael and Vanessa, who were staying elsewhere, ended up behind us on the highway. After a while I had Michael pass us and we followed him and his GPS most of the way home.

The kids are ready to go back! Maybe in the fall...

General Conference - Saturday

I took notes for the first time during General Conference. I left my kids with their Daddy and went to the Stake center to watch and actually LISTEN!

Boyd K. Packer
- it's the father's right and DUTY to preside over his family
-it is time to activate the FULL power of the Priesthood

Julie B. Beck
-we have too much distraction in our lives
- revelation can come when we are doing the right things
- you lose the Spirit when you lose your temper
- ask, prepare, and go forward in faith to receive personal revelation
- refine ourselves and cultivate things that are GOOD
- we need to do our part to teach our children in order to build Zion

Keith B McMullin
- God forgives us when we forgive others
-things can get better even in the face of tragedy
-duty does not require perfection but perserverence
-duty = keeping our covenants in daily life
- pray, it is the life line to heaven

Wilford Anderson
- during the Nauvoo exodus the saints were filled with hope
-faith is the source of hope
- true faith requires work
-sadness disappears when we put our faith in the Lord
- we are engraven on the palm of HIS hand

M. Russell Ballard
- women have a divine nature to mother
- what you DO is more important than what you say
-be a good role model
-mothers teach moral values
-show daughters how to make good choices
- even when you think they are ignoring you, they are still learning by watching you
- refrain from gossip and passing judgement on others
- children learn to nurture by being nurtured
- God is the source of all spiritual power
-make and keep covenants
- teach modesty and purity
- have frequent and open discussions about sexuality, modesty, and purity
- listen to and learn from one another

Henry B. Eyring
- teach children when they are young and help them back onto the path quickly when they wander off
- straight is the gate and narrow is the way
-children who are strengthend are less likely to need rescue when they are teens and they can help rescue others
- pray with faith and help will come
- prepare WITH your children to stay on the path back to Heavenly Father

L. Tom Perry
-preparing church lessons helps us teach our own children
- parents must ensure that their children are taught what Heavenly Father would have them learn
- teaching by parents should never be devalued
- teach by example and precept
-it is our sacred duty to do our very best

D. Todd Christofferson
- through the scriptures God shows his power, enlarges our memory, and corrects our errors
- those without scripture will eventually forget about God
- good is NOT relative
- the commandments are the voice of reality and protect us from self-inflicted pain from sin
- the moral core of society disintigrates without the scriptures and commandments
-faith comes through the witness of the Holy Spirit
- reading scriptures is one way to receive the Holy Ghost
- No one has been as blessed with scripture as we are
- we NEED the scriptures MORE than previous generations!

Koichi Aoyagi
-RESCUE others!

Bruce Carlson
- strict obedience brings blessings, selective compliance will fail to
-"When the Lord commands, DO IT" - Joseph Smith

David Bednar
-spiritual warnings should make us vigilant
1. read and talk about the Book of Mormon with your children
2. spontaneously bear your testimony to your children
3. invite your children to act in Gospel matters (ask questions, bear testimony, etc)
- The Book of Mormon in clear and concise and invites the Holy Spirit

Jeffery Holland
-lust is the most deadly of the seven deadly sins.
-go to the temple as often as possible
- keep as pure as Heavenly Father would have us be
***
All of the questions I had thought about were covered... and there's still 2 more sessions! It's painfully clear that I need to be teaching my children the Gospel more often and praying with them more often. We started tonight!